tears

-August 20th 2008-

"..today is better than yesterday...and tomorrow will be better than today.."

Somehow i wanna believe that phrase..but part of me is saying that's bullshit..
Today is my dad's birthday..and he's not home.. and i miss him around house.. i miss him a lot..so happy birthday daddy.. please, come home soon..

so today isn't suppose to be a bad day for me..at least that's what i have in mind..
But shit happens and things went wrong.. all wrong..

but today i learned new thing..
i learned that i sucked at holding my tears no to fall on my cheeks..
i failed that..
i can't..
i tried..so hard..but i can't..

my eyes was started to blurry in the minute i saw Big..
then came the silence..
and the blinks can't even hide those tears away..
i hate my self today.. i hate when i can't control my emotions..
i hate it when things is out of my control..

and there it goes..
i cried and cried in front of Big..
when he poured out his heart..
i was dwell in my tears..

if holding hands can solve the problems away, i wont let go of our hands..
if hugs can solve the problems away, i will hold you tighter and won't let you go..
if kisses can solve the problems away, i wont stop for breathe..
if cries can solve the problems away, i wont wipe my tears away..

wish i could take all of your sadness, fears and worries away..
and let me be the tears of your sadness and grieve of your lost..

so your tears wont fall down through your cheeks no more..
because only happiness and joy belongs to your heart.

and so i pray..

love,
bR